I Am Not These Thoughts
A poem, a shifting practice, & an invitation to write yourself free...
Hello, fellow traveler,
After several long, hard, hurting days of being tossed dizzyingly around by my afraid, critical, limiting, worrying thoughts, forgetting (and forgetting again) that I am not this swirl of smallness my thoughts seem to want me to think that I am, I decided I need to share the below poem with you.
So, in case you, too, feel a bit stuck inside your own troubled mind, overwhelmed by the so-muchness of this hurting world, this living, perhaps the below poem/practice will serve as important reminders.
I’ve also scattered around a few words (from other poems of mine) that may serve as gentle reminders to come back to what is real. You know, those things we can see & hear & taste & smell & feel right here in this very moment.
And to meet yourself with a flood of sweet tenderness…
AND, because there is nothing more comforting and clarifying than letting the page hold it all, I invite you to get some ink on the page. To empty yourself so that there is more space to breathe & be…
See below for a writing invitation & a special, deeply shifting practice from Ann Weiser Cornell (co-founder of the Inner Relationship Focusing process).
Return, whispers the moment. I am right here.
I AM NOT THESE THOUGHTS
I keep forgetting that I am not these thoughts. I am not these thoughts. Not the crouching one in the corner afraid to speak up, not the one sitting on the bench while the other kids play, not the thunder that booms: You don't belong. Not the shakiness that whispers: Shhh, stay quiet, stay small. I keep forgetting that I am not these thoughts. I am not these thoughts. Not these hands that empty and fill, fill and empty, not this body that wrinkles, grays, aches, breaks. I am the something that raises shaky hand and speaks up anyway, who rises off the bench and joins them in play, the something that lifts me off the hard, cold floor, points eyes to the sun and says: See this sky, this stunning flood of light? This. This, my love, is what you are.
Steep yourself in softness, silence says, give yourself a thousand breaks a day.
Right on time, I received the below practice (courtesy of Ann Weiser Cornell). This is super helpful in shifting out of limiting, critical thoughts…
Thank you for being one of my people. Whether you are a free or paid subscriber, your being here means so very much to me. xo
Here’s a powerful practice to shift your experience with inner critics so you feel relaxed instead of undermined.
Let’s try it…
Pause: Take a moment to settle into your body. Feel your feet. Feel your seat. Allow yourself to arrive in the inner area of your body, throat, chest, stomach, and below. Remember a time when something in you said critical things to you. Maybe something like, “What makes you think you can do this?”
Acknowledge: When you find your inner critic’s words, try saying it like this: “I’m sensing something in me saying __________________.” Mine often sounds like my father because it learned its language from him. So my sentence would be “I’m sensing something in me saying ‘who do you think you are?’”
Say Hello: And then say hello to the one who is saying that. You’re not agreeing or disagreeing with what it says. You’re simply saying “Hello.” Try saying out loud, “I’m sensing something in me saying ____________ and I’m saying hello to it.”
Listen: Because inner critics are often worried, we want to invite them to let us know what they’re worried about. We can do that by saying, “Might you be worried?” And then listen to its response. When I sense the part of me that says “who do you think you are?”, it lets me know that it is worried I’ll get bigger than other people are comfortable with. For it, that means I’ll get attacked or hurt somehow.
Let it Know You Hear It: Gently let your inner critic know you sense what it’s worried about. You’ll get a sense of relief just from IT finally being able to let you know why it is worried.
This is just a beginning. As you practice responding to Inner Critics with compassion and confidence, you’re far less likely to get taken over by them and far less likely to feel bad about yourself.
Here’s the powerful truth:
Every inner critic is trying to save you. They're just so worried something bad will happen to you that they talk to you in a way that leaves you feeling terrible. But you can turn that around when you know how to respond to them. Lasting change comes from how you relate to yourself and everything you feel.
Click H E R E to learn more about Ann’s incredibly healing, grounding practices…
make a nest of tenderness big enough to hold every page of you, every age of you…
I absolutely love sharing my poetry with mindfulness/writing communities…if you are part of such a community & would like me to be a guest poet, please reach out (by simply responding to this email). Or, if you are reading on my Substack page, you can email me at: writeyourselffree@gmail.com
An Invitation to write yourself free…
After you read the below writing practice guidelines, grab your notebook and a free-flowing, yummy pen, set a timer for 10 minutes (or whatever time feels best) and begin with the below line, or any other line that speaks to you….