She Will Not Be Quiet

An Urgency to Speak. Jottings from my Journal: A Daily Writing Practice. An Intention & an Invitation

darling, you feel heavy
because you are
too full of truth.
​
open your mouth more.
let the truth exist
somewhere other than
inside your body.

―Della Hicks-Wilson

---

---

I come to you with an urgency today.

There is a fire burning in my belly, in my lungs, in my throat—a shaking, thunderous, powerfulness that is screaming:

Speak

Speak

Speak

Speak.

---

So, here I am, not really knowing what I am going to say but knowing that I simply must speak, connect, reach my tired, tender hand out to yours.

---

For a long time now, I have been watching a couple of beautiful women, amazing poets,

Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

&

Julie Barton

, write a poem a day & something in me has been knocking, insisting, nudging me to do the same…

to put a mostly-unedited piece of writing out each and every day. Raw & true.

But…

the other voices in me have come up with 8 bazillion (or at least 5 or 6) “good” reasons why this is dumb & undoable…

Too much of a commitment, not enough time, you can’t possibly, you don’t have enough “good” words in you to put something out in the world each day, it’s too much, you will displease people with your truth…and on and on.

---

But/And.

Because there is an urgency to let this bigness of truth exist somewhere other than inside my body.

I am here now to declare something:

---

I will no longer allow these voices of smallness

to keep me quiet.

---

So, consider this me officially off-leash.

I don’t know what this will look like yet, just that I must speak when I feel an urgency to speak.

I know that it means that I can no longer contain what isn’t containable.

It means that I must listen to the bigness in me before the smallness swoops in and talks me out of speaking…

The message that is coming through LOUD & CLEAR is:

---

Good, kind, big-hearted, loving people simply MUST SPEAK, must reach their hands out to one another, must gather, must no longer let littleness win.

---

The truth is, I have felt almost too heavy, too dense, too airless to move lately.

In the midst of the traumatic so-muchness that is going on in the world, in my own country right now, movement has felt too heavy, too hard.

As poet,

James Crews

puts it in his powerful poem Awake in a Strange Room:

---

We have awakened in a strange room,

nearly airless, and so tight the walls

seem to be closing in. -

James Crews

---

A few messages that I receive when I sit in stillness:

---

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GOOD (in the great poet Mary Oliver’s words). It’s NOT about “good,” but about simply saying what is true. It’s about connection. It’s about love.

Spread kindness confetti until walls become wings.

Look into the eyes of animals.

Create. Create. Create.

Gather good people.

Walk with the quiet trees.

Go extra gently.

Speak. Speak. Speak. Speak.

Rest when you need to.

It is critical that the voices of love speak louder than the voices of fear.

---

Breathe in breathe out breathe until you feel your bigness.

---

---

THE INTENTION/THE INVITATION

---

I plan to share a piece of mostly-unedited writing each day (or on most days).

Jottings from my journals…

Sometimes my words may be in poetry form, sometimes they may be in free-writing form and other times…

I don’t know.

We shall see.

---

I will be posting daily over on “Poetry & Ponderings,” my Substack page, and will occasionally send via email. I don’t want to overwhelm your inboxes with too much (there is always so much of so much).

I am inviting you to come play with me! You can leave your words under this post over on my Substack page.

My intention is that this space feels like a shelter of kindness. Free. Playful.

---

With no attention whatsoever on “good.”

---

---

Consider this an opportunity to gather in a safe, loving, supportive space, to let truth exist somewhere other than inside your body.

---

IMPORTANT NOTE:

---

I will be sharing my words with both my free & paid subscribers. You can find these daily writings under the “NOTES” section at the top of my home page.

AND, because my intention is to encourage unedited truth-telling (& that is a very vulnerable thing), and I want to discourage random wanderers from lurking about our heart space, I will keep other’s writings behind the paywall.

I want this writing to feel protected & sacred. Because it is.

---

Below is my mostly-unedited writing for today (jottings from my journal)….

---

S P E A K

The pen hovers over the open page, 
some small, airless whimper in me begs 
the words to come. They don't come. 

The pen feels too heavy today. 

I hear 
my mom's voice: 

Just put one foot in front of the other. 

A songbird I cannot see sings 
a most urgent song. What is she
saying?

And then, it's Mary Oliver 
who reminds me:

You don't have to be good. 

I pause, close my eyes 
so that I can hear what silence 
has to say: 

Keep the pen moving. 
Just tell the truth. 

Go gently. 

Speak. Speak. Speak. Speak. 

---

---

We must

follow the walls to find our way out,

and seek the love of those who still

give it freely. These are our people. -

James Crews

---

Thank you (infinitely) for being one of my people.

When it comes to love, please, please let’s not hold back (this message is for me as much as anyone).

If you would like to respond to this message, you can simply hit reply.

Or, if you are a paid subscriber, you can respond over on my Substack page.

We’ve got this.

With an abundance of gratitude,

Julia xo

---

PS: Stay tuned for the announcement of my next Write Yourself Free series…coming later this week.

I will be opening registration to my subscribers first, so, if you are interested, please be sure you are on my mailing list. xo

---

PPS: If you have not yet heard of, or listened to, the podcast, THE TELEPATHY TAPES, I urge you to listen.

The Telepathy Tapes dares to explore the profound abilities of non-speakers with autism—individuals who have long been misunderstood and underestimated. These silent communicators possess gifts that defy conventional understanding, from telepathy to otherworldly perceptions, challenging the limits of what we believe to be real. The Telepathy Tapes

I think I can truly say I have never listened to anything more vital, more powerful.

---

---