Yearning for Middle C

She Will Not Be Quiet: A (mostly unedited) daily writing practice

This one came out like a song (on an especially heavy day)

Photo by Caleb McLean on Unsplash

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Jotting from my Journal. Day #182 of (mostly unedited) daily writing/sharing

Yearning for Middle C

It's happening again, these gnawing 
doubts, the toxic measuring stick 
has come out, and my god, it hurts to want
to empty yourself out, 

but you can't find the way in. And the world 
is burning, and my god, this depth of yearning—
please, please, let me out, let me out, let me 
let myself out. 

Let these fingers find middle C,
let me find the key
to this invisible door inside of me, 
let me play the music of this yearning—

I'm tired of having to keep relearning
the thing I thought I knew yesterday. God, 
it hurts to fight against yourself, whatever
is inside of here, let me let it out,

I can't breathe, 
I can't breathe 
beneath the weight 
of this gnawing doubt. 

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U P C O M I N G

E V E N T !

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