Today's Truth
She Will Not Be Quiet: A (mostly unedited) daily writing practice
Jotting from my journal…. Day #33 of daily writing
I feel deeply angry today—for many reasons I can name, for many reasons I cannot name. The health insurance people who use language I can't understand and place me on hold until I want to pull every hair out of my head, the clinic that billed incorrectly and refuse to fix it, the woman at the doctor's office who is not a bit nice, even when I really needed it. Even the cat won't stop yelling at me. And my mom is mad at me again. And everything is dinging, pinging, ringing. I'm so tired of screens, so tired of bad news, so tired of kind people being hurt by mean people, so tired of sickness in suits who do not care a single bit, tired of turning against my own beloved body. It feels as if every door has been bolted shut, the air sucked from every room. And I can't breathe. And then, I read the poet's words, and immediately, softness slips in, tears spill, heart swells. And I remember to breathe gentleness into all of my angry, sad, very, very tired parts. I remember that I can just sit here and let myself feel it all.
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I feel all of this, Julia. Thank goodness for poetry; thank goodness for the softness it lets in. I'm sending you so much love, my friend.
The tedium of bureaucrats, the solace of poets. I hear and feel this, Julia.