What is True?

A few things, my experience (so far) with Substack & a new-ish poem

I am slowly resurfacing after being out of the country for 2 weeks. A week-ish at a Fehrenbacher family reunion in the picturesque, tiny village of Schuttertal, Germany (around 100 of us gathered!) and another almost-week hiking the Via Alpina in beautiful, gorgeous Switzerland. 

I feel very lucky to have had this opportunity - such incredible beauty.

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And I'm grateful for those 2 refreshing weeks of being (mostly) unplugged from screens. And, also, it's so good to be back to words and this lovely community. 

Thank you, lovely community. I am truly, deeply grateful for you. 

For so many years, I felt I was speaking/writing into a great big void. It warms me so that you are here now with me. 

Having said that, if it no longer feels good to be here, please, please feel so free to unsubscribe. I want us to want to be in community together.

The mind-blowing mountains of Switzerland

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As most of you know, this platform (Substack) is brand new to me. And I am very much still learning how things work over here. I'm guessing some of you have never heard of Substack and it might feel a bit weird/foreign to you. Me too. 

I came over to this space because the email service I had been using for many, many years shut down and, more than anything, I wanted to simplify and feel like I was part of a community of other writers. 

So far, it feels good & supportive to be here. Like a little nest of tenderness.

Please know that I appreciate you greatly whether you are a free subscriber or a paid subscriber. 

I know the way Substack sets up their platform may feel a bit salesy...that is one of the things I am feeling weird about, and so not what I want my work to feel like.

Know that there is zero pressure to be a paid subscriber. I would never want anyone to do anything because of a feeling of pressure. 

I plan (as always) to share my writing/poetry freely and will also have some sharings for paid subscribers only. 

The main reason for this is that I plan to share some vulnerable, raw, real writings, and I want to know that those who are reading (and also sharing their own writing) are among those who have intentionally chosen to be here (and not those who are simply trolling around the internet). 

I hope this makes sense. This feels safer and more intentional and right for me.

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On another note, it has been brought to my awareness that the free download of my eBook ("Beyond the Noise") that I shared in my welcome letter is not opening. 

So, here it is again (as a link). 

I am in way over my head with this technical stuff! I'm very much figuring it out as I go along, so please bear with me. Damn, it's a whole lot of learning (aka flailing around!). 

If you haven't already downloaded the eBook, you can download by clicking on the below button. (Fingers crossed it opens for you!)

And now, a newish poem for you (below). 

I invite you to write with me (writing practice style), beginning with the prompt: 

What is true? 

What do I mean by writing practice style? Below are the "rules" for writing yourself free...

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Writing Practice "Rules" (as created, with some of my own tweaks, by one of my greatest teachers Natalie Goldberg)

* First, give yourself permission to write the worst junk in the world (this is the most important one!). Writing practice is very much not about trying to be "good," it is about opening the door and giving space for your insides to speak (without any pressure, agenda, or expectations). It is simply saying what is true, what is true, what is true. 

* Keep your hand moving. No stopping to edit (no crossing out, no re-reading, no attention to spelling/grammar). The reason for this fast writing is to outrun the editor who really wants to be in control. Give yourself full permission to lose control!

* Go for the jugular. If there is energy there, dive straight into it. 

* Enjoy! Play. Have fun.

And please feel free to share some of the "recalls" from your own writing. 

Recalls are simply phrases/lines that feel especially poignant/resonant/goosebumpy/true to you. 

And now, for that newish poem...

So, so much love to beautiful you,

Julia xo

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WHAT IS TRUE?  

I have no interest in the fallow ground of fame or fortune, 
in the daily grind, in glamour or glory, 
in one-up-ing, in being the most or the busiest 
or the best. I’d throw it all away 
for one moment of true. 

And what is true?

I have been sinking and shrinking in the shallow
and I'm dying for the deep. And what is true?
I'd take a sky full of maybe 
over the closed fist of certainty. And I'm tired
tired tired of trying not to break.

And what is true?

I don't know but when I stand in the middle
of the meadow and close my eyes, I hear
the wind whispering willows 
and I know it has something
to do with this. And it is Wednesday afternoon 

and the world is a mess and still 
the forest birds sing, and still 
these strong legs carry me, and still 
the sun shines and makes everything 
more beautiful.

And what is true? 

I want to fill the void with buckets full of real, 
to feel the truth circulate through these bones, 
this blood—to let the false fall break shatter 
into a million tiny pieces. 

The truth is, I want to be
the epiphany. The truth is—
it is not possible 
to shrink 
the sun. 

(Written 7/9/24)

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PS: I am happy to share that signed copies of my book “Staying in Love” are now back up in my Etsy shop.

PPS: If you are waiting for an email reply from me, please be patient. I am trying not to overwhelm my very sensitive nervous system by trying to do too much too soon. xo

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